"All faith schools in Britain are warmed by human blood being pumped through their central-heating system. The blood is taken from patients booked into foundation hospitals. The only two people who know about this are Tony Blair and Patricia Hewitt, who are actually brother and sister but don't know it, having been separated at birth from their mother, the last of the Mohicans. They were both bathed in privately funded blood when they were born and are rumoured to drink the blood of state-sector employees whenever they can.
They deny this, but it's discovered that all the routes of proposed toll motorways across Britain when seen from above form a Masonic symbol which means 'Drinking the Blood of the Poor and the Sick is Great'. Blair says this is just coincidence, but the journalist who raises the question mysteriously disappears."